“You’re doing such a good job right now!”
If you enjoy praise like this not only because it feels nice but also because of sexual pleasure, you might have a praise kink. This kink is all about a dominant person giving positive reinforcement to a submissive person. Think of a love language centered around positive affirmation, but usually within the context of more sexual acts.
Interested in learning more? Good girl/boy! Let’s get into the specifics.
Understanding Praise Kinks
Praise kinks, also referred to as affirmation play, are most predominant on Femdom cams. Many men struggle to find emotional support and personal gratification in their daily lives, so having a woman who can offer loving or motherly affection can be quite liberating. However, anyone can have this kink, including trans people and women.
It’s important to draw a line when answering, “What is a praise kink?” Everyone enjoys praise to some extent, especially if it is individualized and delivered by someone they respect. The kink part usually comes in when there’s more of a sexual nature to the relationship. For example, being congratulated or praised for orgasming or following explicit sexual instructions.
Expressions and Phrases in Praise Kinks
Commonly Used Praise Phrases
“You’re such a good girl/ boy for continuing this journey of self-discovery.”
That is one of the more common examples of a kink phrase you’d find in the praise community. Kink words of affirmation aren’t overly complex, just so long as they give positive feedback to the other person. Here are some more examples of what’s a praise kink:
- I’m proud of you.
- I love the way you …
- I can’t get enough of your hot body.
- I can’t stop thinking about your …
- You look so good when you …
- You always know just what I need.
- You make me feel good.
- You feel incredible.
- You have no idea what you’re doing to me.
- You’re doing amazing.
- Good job.
- Great work!
- Who taught you that?
Role of Affirmations
There are multiple ways to use words of affirmation in this kink. One of the most common is as a reward when a dominant partner says they enjoy sex with the submissive one. It can also be used in a push-and-pull relationship with a degradation kink, giving the submissive partner clear boundaries about what they should or shouldn’t do concerning fantasy or BDSM practices.
Many folks enjoy hearing compliments, though, so it’s important to keep some kind words for sexual experiences. This can help with self-esteem when someone with this type of fetish has low confidence or is generally unsure of themselves. If they receive praise in the form of certain words for specific actions, it helps ensure that positive reinforcement incorporated into sex doesn’t leak into non-sexual parts of the relationship.
Praise Kinks on Social Media
Praise Kinks on TikTok
As TikTok is a censored platform, you won’t find much explicit content about this kink. However, that doesn’t stop people from discussing them in conversational terms. For example, men post thirst traps with common kink phrases to attract girls, or girls mention how their partner discovered their praise kink and used it in unconventional or amusing ways. Some people also act as pseudo-sex therapists, discussing what praise might say about your personality or desires.
Praise Kinks on Reddit
As a platform, Reddit is best when seeking advice from others, and you’ll see that reflected in conversations about the praise kink. In subreddits like r/BDSMcommunity, r/LesbianActually, and r/AskReddit, posts revolve around the best phrases, implementations, and times to use a compliment or phrase for their partner. You’ll also find discussions about people exploring their sexuality and determining whether or not they have this type of kink and how to approach the conversation with a potential partner.
Praise Kinks Versus Other Kinks
Comparison with Degradation and Discipline
There has probably been enough attention given to the degradation and discipline side of erotic pleasure, which makes praise feel refreshing for some. These are obviously diametrically opposed fetishes, although, with the right communication, some partners might enjoy having both aspects in their play sessions. A bit of encouragement for the right kind of fun and a bit of punishment for the wrong kind.
It’s also worth considering how worship and praise aren’t the same. Someone who wants to be worshipped might enjoy degrading their partner, whereas the focus of praise is on positive feedback for doing specific things that your partner likes.
Comparison with Latex Fetish
At the moment, there isn’t a strong correlation between praise and the latex fetish. However, that doesn’t mean there is no correlation, as the two aren’t mutually exclusive. Someone could enjoy wearing latex outfits while being praised. And there’s potential for the combo in the future, as it’s nice to hear compliments about how latex makes you look or feel.
Exploring Praise Kinks
Techniques for Giving and Receiving Praise
The best techniques for any kink are the ones you and your partner talk about and agree to in advance. As with all sexual play, it’s best to keep some things for the bedroom, especially those that involve emotional responses, considering that it may lead to hurt feelings or confusing reactions if brought into non-sexual scenarios.
Generally, most people use praise when their partner is doing something for them, like oral sex. An easy rule of thumb is that if they’re doing something performative, you should pay them a compliment. Of course, these ideas can also be reversed if you’re the one requesting praise.
Trial and Error in Praise Kinks
It’s always best to explore your arousal with your partner and redefine your limits with any new partners. BDSM or any kind of sexual interaction is ultimately about having fun, so if you find yourself feeling uncertain or uncomfortable, it’s best to voice those concerns at an appropriate time. Again, it’s important to reiterate that having control over someone’s emotions is an act of responsibility and should be treated with care and respect.
Praise Kinks in the BDSM Community
Has anyone told you you’re a good girl/ boy recently? Just thought you should know!
Praise and the kink community go hand-in-hand, as one is really part of the other. If you’re a part of the community or considering joining a local version of it, you can use praise as an indicator of the experience you can expect to have.
Aftercare usually involves some praise, especially if the session focuses on degradation or humiliation. If you’re not receiving that level of care in the beginning, it can serve as a red flag or at least something to discuss in the future. Depending on your interest in the fetish, you can also seek out individuals who enjoy giving or receiving praise.
You Did Such a Good Job Reading This!
And there you have it! The praise kink is somewhat of an emerging topic, but it’s one that’s easy for most people to endorse and is applicable to people of all backgrounds. There are lots of ways to get started incorporating praise into your sexual play, so don’t be afraid to have a conversation that could lead to fruitful results! In fact, you might just be asking yourself right about now, “Do I have a praise kink?”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What are the common phrases used in praise kink?
“Good girl/boy,” “I’m proud of you,” “You’re doing so good,” “You look amazing,” and similar affirmations are the most popular praise kink phrases. Generally, any short, positive statement can be one of the kink phrases you use.
How does one explore a praise kink?
The praising kink, like any kink, should start with a conversation between you and your partner in a non-sexual setting. If you’d like to receive more praise, ask them to incorporate simple statements into your play. Remember to start small, and if you don’t like it, let them know.
What is the psychology behind praise kinks?
Words of affirmation are a fairly common part of the human condition, as they are a concrete way for someone to express their enjoyment of another’s actions. Of course, you can make all kinds of pseudo-psychological associations with the enjoyment of praise, from feelings of loneliness or isolation to expectations about one’s own self-worth or feelings toward their opposite-gender parent. But for most, it’s a heightened sense of reward for sex-based acts.
Can praise kinks be integrated into various types of relationships?
Yes, you can incorporate praise into any relationship and your kink with anyone you share a romantic or sexual connection. For some, words of affirmation can be a love language. But it’s also important to draw clear boundaries between what gives you sexual pleasure and what makes you feel wanted, needed, and supported in non-sexual relationships.
Are there different levels of intensity in praise kinks?
Yes, your sexual response may be more or less intense, given the specific emotional or spoken cues. For example, being told you’re doing a good job could be more or less intense, given the act you’re performing. Similarly, personal phrases or unique actions between you and your partner might be more intense than generic or forced interactions.
How can one communicate their desire for praise kink to a partner?
If you think you might have a praise kink, you should approach your partner during a period of low sexual arousal. It’s best to have these discussions outside of a heightened sensory or emotional state. Simply ask them to help you explore the fetish, offering specific phrases and times you think will work best.
